How to Handle Conflict With Another Person

Matthew 5: 23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

Why is it urgent to be reconciled with your brother?

Why is it your responsibility to go if someone has something against you?

Is there anyone you need to be reconciled with? What should you do about it?

Matthew 5: 25"Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

Why is it wise to settle matters quickly?

What would stand in the way of settling matters quickly?

Matthew 18: 15"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

If your brother sins against you, what is your responsibility?

If you go to your brother, what is your goal?

Matthew 5 teaches you to go if your brother has something against you. Matthew 18 teaches you to go if your brother sins against you. How can it be your responsibility to go if you were the one who did wrong and if you were the one someone did wrong to?

1 Corinthians 6: 1 If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? 2 Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! 4 Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! 5 I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? 6 But instead, one brother goes to law against another—and this in front of unbelievers! 7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

What two alternatives are better than going to court against a brother?

Colossians 3: 12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

How do clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience?

What does it mean to bear with someone?

What example of forgiveness does this passage give us?

Discussion Questions:

Why does God care about our relationships with others? Why does He place a high priority on forgiveness and reconciliation?

Why do some people seem to find it easier to resolve differences than others?

When a person gives their life to Jesus, what changes should take place that will make it easier for them to deal with conflict?

Jesus is Coming Again

for small group study the week of May 28 through June 3, 2006

God's Word (New International Version of the Bible. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society)
2 Peter 3:3 First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, "Where is this 'coming' he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation." 5 But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the earth was formed out of water and by water. 6 By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. 7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of ungodly men. 8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. 11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. 14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.

What Does the Bible Say?

Why will people scoff at the idea that the Lord is coming?

What do people “deliberately forget”?

How does the Lord look at the passage of time?

Why is the Lord patient about His return?

What will happen to the earth?

What Are We Going to do About it?

Peter warns us that in the last day scoffers will come, who will not believe the promise that Jesus is coming back. What should your attitude be toward someone who scoffs at your belief that Jesus is coming?

The reason Jesus hasn’t returned is that God doesn’t want anyone to perish. What is your attitude toward those who are lost? What are you doing about it?

As Peter explains how the world will end, he asks the questions, “What kind of people ought you to be?” How do you answer this question? Are you living for eternity?

Group Application:

Discuss ways that we can help and encourage missionaries that are on the “front line” reaching people who God doesn’t want to perish.

Prayer Focus:

Pray for each other that the reality of Jesus’ soon return will be clear to us and that our lives will reflect it.

Strong in the Face of Trial

for small group study the week of May 21 through 27, 2006

God's Word (New International Version of the Bible. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society)
1 Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14 As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15 But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16 for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

What Does the Bible Say?

Where is our inheritance kept?

What is the purpose of trials?

What fills us with joy?

What are we to set our hope on?

Why does God say we should be holy?

What Are We Going to do About it?

Verse 3 says, “In his great mercy he has given us new birth.” Do you recognize that being born again is a gift that God gave you because of His mercy, and that you have not earned it? How does this change the way you live?

Verse 5 says that we are kept by God’s power, but verse 6 says we may have to suffer trials. What does it mean to be kept by God’s power? What should your attitude be toward trials?

Peter tells us to prepare our minds for action and to be self-controlled. What do we need to do this? What disrupts our minds and makes us unprepared for action?

Group Application:

This passage shows us that our faith in and love for Jesus fills us with joy. Share with the group your joy in the Lord. Encourage one another and pray for God’s joy for each other.

Prayer Focus:

Pray for each other to be strong in the face of trials.